Sorry I've been dead the past 2 weeks. I actually had typed up this major update about Game of the Year and all that silliness, but then it got accidentally deleted and I didn't have the heart to do it again. Its like when you make major progress in a game and then die, only to remember you haven't saved in forever. But, we get back on the horse and persist.
So Game of the Year. Those of you who remember the thing called the Internet have figured out by now that every single venue in existence crowns its own 'Game of the Year', and that of course, lots of times these are the predictable choices (whatever version of Halo or Grand Theft Auto has come out that year is usually the easy favorite) that usually win, but because of the recent increase in mass market appeal of games, titles like Wii Sports have actually gotten some recognition from some big name places. BAFTA (British Academy of Film and Television Arts), for example, gave the title 7 awards at its show, more than any other game. Of course, Game of the Year was not one of these (Bioshock), but its at least a start. It seemed to me like there might be a move in the right direction. Until this year's Spike TV VGAs.
For those of you who can avoid this show, do so at all costs. Now, let me say first and foremost that I admire someone trying to step up and be THE official top notch award in the industry. Every film review site in the US would crown their own 'movie of the year' if we didn't have the Academy Awards, and as we just saw with E3, we need one event to be larger than the others or we won't have any major event. Thats why, a few years back when they were first announced, I thought the VGAs had some promise. There are 2 problems with the show. One is that it focuses too heavily on flash and not enough on substance, and the other is that they try to do...something to gamers. I'd call it 'pigeonholing', but the truth is, thats not nearly a strong enough word to describe it. Let me give 2 examples. Spike of course had a representation from every system for their own individual game of the years. Not just most genres, every system. Fine, I can handle that. But shouldn't the 'best wii game' and 'best 360 game' be at least part of the list? And how exactly can a title be considered the best game of the year on all systems, if it wasn't regarded as the best game of the year on its own system? So, with that in mind, here were their nominees for Game of the Year:
-Halo 3- A First Person Shooter released on a Microsoft Platform (360)
-Half Life 2:The Orange Box-A First Person Shooter released on 2 Microsoft Platforms (360 and PC, PS3 version was not released yet)
-Bioshock-A First Person Shooter released on 2 Microsoft Platforms(360 and PC)
-Mass Effect-A 3rd Person Action RPG with at least shooting elements released on a Microsoft Platform (360)
Anyone else see a bit of a trend here that's a little too...'bludgen you on the head' subtle? Yeah, me too. You wanna make the argument that Mario Galaxy isn't nearly as good a game as any of these 4, go ahead, make it. I won't stop you. But seriously, anyone else have flashbacks to the episode of Futurama where the 2 presidential candidates are clones of each other? Come on, have some variety in there, even if it is only for show.
Exhibit B; the presentation of the awards. Most dignified shows, and even something like the MTV Movie Awards, will have the award presenters open a sealed envelope and read aloud the name of the winners. The VGAs had the name of the winning game and its box art painted onto naked women. Let me restate that for emphasis. Spike TV showed adult women, most of whom are probably models, on stage wearing nothing but body paint, nipple tape and a pair of underwear. Now, please answer me this. This method of displaying the winners is which of the following?
A:Tasteful
B:Clever
C:Original
D:Likely to make every person watching it who isn't either a hardcore male gamer or a hardcore lesbian game deduce that all gamers must be nothing but boob obsessed morons who can only understand something if its spelled out for them in such a glaringly obvious method.
Now for the record, I love boobs and video games. I do. I just don't like some major television network assuming that those are either the only 2 things I like or that I need one (video games) to be around to tolerate the presence of the other (boobs). Don't get me wrong, I love the idea of combining games and breasts, but good luck finding someone with C cup or larger breasts who thinks that the best thing in the world is to remove her clothing, position herself so you can have maximum enjoyment of said bosoms and then allow you to play games for hours on end. Granted, if anyone finds such a woman, you are to marry her immediately and make sure that every waking moment of your respective lives that isn't devoted to the gaming/booby combination is spent tirelessly making her happy because the truth is there aren't that many of them out there. Most of them with either want to play or just not want to sit there and let you stare without being paid for it.
So, whats the point here? The point is I was glad to see someone step up and try and secure A: Some big name talent for a show and B:rights to consider themselves the be-all-end-all of gaming award shows, but if their whole major weapon is body paint and Samuel L. Jackson, lets hope someone else steps up here and takes them on.
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